The biggest lie I’ve told myself

Recently, I’ve encountered a bad comment on a drawing that was shared by a well known art supply company. I felt proud of the progress. At the same time, I also felt a bit doubtful.

Needless to say, the person that wrote the bad comment didn’t give any inclusion on how it can be improved. It just simply mentioned that it was bad. Okay…thanks, I guess? I didn’t expect that the company decided to share my image on their platform. As such, it looked like it was deleted originally from the company page and the person decides to write in again on how my artwork sucked. Talk about persistence. The only thing I can do at the moment was block and ignore.

I’m generally open to receiving feedback, so long as they are constructive and aligned with the purpose of improving. After all, no one is an expert and we’re all learning our crafts through trial and error. No one is expected to know everything overnight.

In these moments, I keep telling myself that everything is fine. That everything will pass and people will forget. Even after reporting the instances and minding my own business, you figured everything will settle in the dust, right? Not quite so…

When you have an inner critic telling you the negative comments are valid and want you to feel like shit, that’s when it becomes mental torture. No one can’t see your struggles. Only you can feel them, slowly aching away your soul as you’re wrestling with the inner demons.

It’s one thing to face the negative comments online. But I think the greater battlefield in all of this is when it occurs in your mind. You can’t escape from it.

It’s been a constant feeling for many years and unfortunately, it’s not something it can disappear permanently. On some days, I’m fine (without lying to myself). And other times, I’m feeling the pressure and weight on myself while attempting to hide the depression. Sometimes it comes from my ability to overthink situations. Other times, it comes from outside influences.

Not every battle happens on the physical level. Many of us are facing with our struggles and are doing the best we can to cope through it all. I think as an artist in trying to convey these emotional pieces into something tangible has been a good way for me to express my sensitive moments. Sharing these experiences with everyone has given me a better perspective on how many of us are dealing with our mental health. And my hope is that others can feel and perhaps relate to the struggles.

Every day, I’m finding ways in setting boundaries, silencing the inner critic and ignoring the folks from the online world who are either passive aggressive, mean or sadists. It’s not easy. For others, it may look easy. But emotionally, it isn’t the case.

I realise that once I started showcasing my work, everyone wants to be a critic. Unfortunately, that can’t be helped. Everyone will always have an opinion. It makes me wonder how famous celebrities cope with these types of large scale criticisms.

My own happiness is what I create and share in a conscious manner, while not being swayed into thinking that I should hide and live in fear. The lesson I’ve learned is that not everyone will be on board with your passion projects. Additionally, we are our own worst enemies. That nagging voice in my mind telling me that I’m no good and the trolls are actually right about me? For now, she’s on vacation. She might make an appearance again. But until then, she’s not welcomed in front of my doorstep.

Have you had moments where you’ve dealt with your inner and outer critics? What did you do to cope with these moments? Let me know in the comments below.

Namaste,
Diana

The Road Ahead

Happy New Year, lovelies! I’m back from my vacation. Hope you had a good time over the holidays. I’m a bit rusty on the drawings at the moment but hopefully I’ll be able to get better in terms of the shading and colouring.

2018 has been a tremendous year in learning crucial lessons on relationships, self awareness, understanding boundaries and self care. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is understanding that you can outgrow relationships. One day, you can have a network of people in a similar field. Next day, you can switch tracks and people eventually falling off the earth. Relationships go by in seasons. It’s why I do my best in remembering the good moments, even when things went sour. Nothing is perfect.

Having a smaller circle helps me focus in who’s important in my life. I no longer have the high expectations that I used to in the past. I take things with a grain of salt. If people are meant to be my friends, great. If not, time to move on. My happiness depends on how well I treat myself.

Got any stories to share about the holidays? What were your biggest lessons during 2018? Would love to hear your thoughts 💭

Namaste,

Diana

Chasing Social Media Happiness

There was a time that I felt anxious about my social media presence. Moments I’ve found myself in a state of anguish, depression and feeling like I’m not worthy enough. After spending some time talking with my close family and friends (even making trips to see the doctor), I realize that part of the problem was taking a lot of things I’ve seen on social media to heart.

So I decided to go on a social media break to help reconnect with myself. It was a rough journey in getting back to the state of things. When I’ve reentered back in the social media scene, I was able to look at the platforms with a clearer picture and mindset. I no longer feel tied to comparing myself with larger followings or going after verified check makes for the sake of making myself look good.

Social media can be a good place to connect and share your thoughts, if done correctly.

I want you to know that it’s okay to take social media breaks. If you need to focus on your health, please do so. That’s more important than getting likes and comments. You can’t take social currency to the grave.

How do you cope with seeing negative reactions on social media? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Namaste,

-D.

The only heart for me

I’m a romantic person. This comic strip sums up my feelings for my partner. We’ve been together for many years, and I can’t imagine life without him.

He makes me feel like a queen and knows my moods very well without judgement.

Let me know in the comments on who has your heart 💓

Namaste,

-D.